Putting lovingkindness first eases everything!

The guided meditation I lead in my group often ends in a metta practice, infinite lovingkindness. But at a recent retreat at Spirit Rock, Bhikku Analayo led us in a meditation that began with metta for ourselves. Then that lovingkindness expanded into spaciousness and infinite consciousness.

Putting metta at the beginning of a meditation makes so much sense, I can’t believe I never thought of it. It eased all my meditations throughout the 8-night retreat, and I discovered that it also helped during the rest of the day.

Back home, leading my group, I switched up my usual wording, adding metta to the beginning of the meditation. And the sangha members reported finding it very helpful.

The instructions are simple:

When you meditate, begin with metta practice. The wording I use is:

May I be well.
May I be at ease.
May my mind be peaceful.
May I know the joy of being fully present in this moment just as it is.

Feel free to adapt the wording to be meaningful for you. Mine has evolved from the wording I was taught: “May I be safe and free from harm.” and “May I be happy.” For me ‘may I be safe’ reinforces a sense of separate self that needs to be protected. It sets up an anxious defensive stance that undermines the easeful lovingkindness being cultivated. ‘May I be happy’ seems insufficient for the infinite nature of metta. Happiness is a fleeting emotion dependent on conditions being the way we want them. But there are many circumstances where things are not as we wish, and it’s unreasonable to expect that life should be perfect just for us. And having everything we want often proves to be unsatisfying anyway. But whatever happens in our lives, we can cultivate joy by being fully present in this moment. A moment that we might otherwise call boring, stressful, painful, or sad can still be held in the light of awareness instead of the tangle of opinions and judgments that are ever ready to make us miserable even in the happiest circumstances.

As you do a metta practice regularly, you will probably find that certain wording feels more natural or is more aligned with your deepest understanding. Allow your metta practice to evolve in whatever way is meaningful for you. Hopefully, it will release the unhelpful sense of isolated self begging, and grow into attunement with an infinite sense of lovingkindness.

That’s how the meditation begins, but of course, the nature of the human mind is for our attention to wander and get caught up in any of the Five Hindrances of greed, aversion, sloth, restlessness, and doubt.

Whenever you find your attention entangled, recognize this wayward thinking as papanca.

Papanca (pronounced papancha) is the Pali word meaning proliferation of thoughts. So why not just think ‘proliferation of thoughts’? Well, you certainly could. Or you could just imagine the tangled veil of knotted thoughts the attention has a tendency to travel. All good. But using this ancient word the Buddha used over 2500 years ago helps to remind us that this is nothing new, not unique to us, that we aren’t messing up, just experiencing the nature of the human mind.

Papanca is also more fun to say, so it helps us keep it light. And, because it is a Pali word, we might be reminded of another Pali word we’ve come to know: ‘Metta’ that helps us get back on track. We recognize the presence of papanca, acknowledge it as a human condition, and then easily slip in a little Metta phrase. For example, if the body has tensed up, we can say, ‘May I be at ease.’ If thoughts are racing, ‘May my mind be peaceful.’ 

At the end of the meditation, we can expand our metta practice to include someone in particular need of lovingkindness or healing right now. Then we radiate metta out to all beings.

So that’s the meditation and I’d love to hear how that affects your regular meditation. Or if it inspires you to do meditation if you haven’t been doing so.

As a bonus, throughout the day, whenever you find your attention has gone down a rabbit hole of unproductive or unwholesome thought, you can do a little metta for yourself.

Your metta wording is the basis of what you want to cultivate in yourself and the world. So you can check in with what you’re doing or saying and ask yourself whether this is cultivating the metta wishes you gave yourself. And adjust accordingly. 

So for example:

If not, make adjustments. If so, hooray! That realization strengthens your sense of well-being and purpose in life.