On a retreat I attended in 2009, Teja Bell, who led us in Qi Gong twice daily, taught us a gesture. Once we understood it, he asked us to feel what it was like to use just 70% effort—dialing it back a bit. What a concept! It’s not part of our cultural conditioning to try not to give 100% or even 110%. More is always better, is it not?

I was reminded of when I used to take Nia, a fusion fitness class focused on working from the core and not overextending.

Both of these recommendations are based on body wisdom. What does the body need to be strong, resilient, healthy, and comfortable? It needs to be listened to instead of dictated to by mental constucts of competitive goal setting and ideals of perfection. It requires a regular movement pattern that keeps the muscles, joints, tendons, and bones healthy. When we overdo and over-extend, we break the pattern. We then have to stop doing what the body likes to do in order to recover, and that sets up the possibility of decline. While we are nursing our injury, we may get out of shape and out of balance as we make accommodations for functioning with an injury. And once we’ve stopped our routine, getting started up again is challenging, and there’s always the chance we won’t bother. 

So this idea of not pushing it too far, even when it contradicts the ‘no pain, no gain’ ethic, is best in the long run. The body knows this, and we benefit from honoring its inherent wisdom.

The mind also benefits from body wisdom. When we listen to our bodies and trust what they tell us, we become more peaceful, kind, generous, resilient, balanced, and happy.

The human body is an ambulatory extension of the earth. Wes Nisker, another teacher on that retreat, pointed out that we are earthlings made of the same complex substance as the rest of our precious planet and all that grows on it. We are deeply connected, not just spiritually but in a very science-based physical way, to our earth, the Milky Way galaxy, and the universe.

Thinking of the body in this larger context, we tap into the wisdom of the earth, sensing the seasons and taking our cues from them. And what is the wisdom of this season? What does every little burrowing animal know that we, in our distraction and busyness, often ignore?

Right now, the rest of the animal kingdom is slowing down all over the northern hemisphere, nestling in and, in some cases, hibernating. We think we have conquered seasonal variations because we can click on the heater and flip on the electric lights. But is this true? Theoretically, we could pop a pill every night to keep us from feeling the need for sleep. But would that mean we don’t need sleep? Research has found that people who don’t have the opportunity to dream develop extreme mental conditions.

Perhaps skipping the seasonal slowing down that comes with the winter solstice does similar damage. It’s possible. We might each want to do our own personal research to see what’s true for us. Most of us know that our body wisdom asks that we slow down, nestle in, be cozy, do less, consume less, expend less energy, and use less effort. But this wisdom is often overruled by the corporate-driven cultural imperative to get busy shopping, hustling, partying, and overindulging!

It’s no wonder that so many people dread this time of year. For some, it is simply dealing with so much darkness, so much stale-air indoor time, and the resulting sense of disconnection from nature, resulting in boredom and even depression. But for most of us, it is more likely the result of this convergence of a biological need on the one hand and thoughts that we ‘should’ be doing more on the other.

Our sense of inadequacy blooms this season. Did I give enough? Did I buy the right things? Did I remember everyone? Am I overdoing it? Why do I have so few people to buy gifts for or close enough to spend the holidays with?

With seasonal overindulgences, our bodies, usually reliable all year long when treated reasonably, suddenly rebel. Too much dessert! Too much liquor! Too much talking! And so, when we want to feel our best to meet this challenging time, we sabotage our physical well-being and end up either sick or grumpy.

Illness is our bodies’ last resort to enforce a slowdown. I certainly learned that the hard way back in the early 1990s when I came down with chronic fatigue and had to quit my career as an ad exec and quiet down enough to hear this body wisdom. After returning to wellness, I felt compelled to remind others of the importance of listening in. So I published some of this inner wisdom, accessible by all in a slowed down and open state, in my book Tapping the Wisdom Within, A Guide to Joyous Living.

Even though I have literally ‘written the book,’ I still occasionally overdo it. One day last week, I spent hours on the phone with tech wizards trying to solve issues. I was exhausted—the kind of exhaustion I remember from working full-time. This experience also sparked compassion for all those who work full-time, dealing with tricky technical and other kinds of issues as well as challenging personalities.

This season is so rich in traditions that this cultural shift allows us to change how we celebrate. Some aspects of our traditions are just collective habits compounding our collective misery, while others bring us absolute joy. By knowing the difference, we can refine our rituals and make them more meaningful.

I know for me, this time of year, I feel the need to slow down, to linger longer in the cozy nest of my warm bed, to have deeper conversations with loved ones, to linger over meals, to take slow walks and be available for any delights that show up – whether out in nature or walking along the main street of my town. I enjoy sensing the season by eating more root vegetables and winter fruits – like sweet satsuma mandarin oranges and crunchy fuyu persimmons. I like spending more time in the kitchen making soups, stews, and maybe gingerbread. I want to spend time with family and enjoy being together without too much agenda. I’ve come to an age where I can let go of traditions that require effort beyond my abilities. In this way, I hope I am also lightening the load of expectations on the rest of the family.

Implementing Teja Bell’s wise instruction, can I set my effort at 70% so that my body and mind can be healthy, resilient, responsive, rested, and joyful? That’s wise effort indeed.

So here is my wish for my holidays and yours:
May we slow down and sense our burrowing animal nature.
May we give from our hearts time to listen, laugh,
and treasure this finite gift of life in this magical season.